“Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.” ~ C.S. Lewis
For Better or For Worse: How Facing Adversity Deepens Committed Love
When two people commit “for better or for worse,” they pledge to face life’s ups and downs hand-in-hand. Yet many relationships crumble under the crushing weight of financial woes, family losses, health crises, and other serious challenges.
Bonds That Build Strength
As the famous quote by C.S. Lewis goes, “Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.” The adversity couples navigate through things together, one way or the other; it will either break them or forge an unbreakable bond if they have the courage to withstand the flames. It has proven over and over again, that facing adversity deepens committed love. Why do some bonds break under pressure while others emerge stronger?
Fairweather Romance
While fairweather romance often falters in storms, devotion grounded in vulnerability, trust, and interdependence can emerge stronger. As Lewis observed, facing shared hardship can propel ordinary relationships to an extraordinary depth and intimacy.
History’s Greatest Love Story
Survival under duress demands authentic communication, personal sacrifice, and teamwork like never before. This intense pressure bonding explains why history’s greatest love stories were often forged on battlefields, through long separations, or in the rubble of disasters.
In It To Win It
The “in it to win it” mindset separates superficial attachment from devoted commitment. Fairweather romance based merely on attraction and fun fades in storms. But relationships grounded in vulnerability, trust, and interdependence can be fortified by turmoil.
Courage and Grit
Facing adversity requires couples to access courage, grit, and deeper care they didn’t know existed within. Survival demands more authentic communication, sacrifice, and teamwork.
The Crucible of Crisis
Like metal or stone heated to a molten state, adversity melts relationships down to their core essence. As external factors like jobs, homes, or health become threatened, couples shed previously held assumptions and roles.
Sudden Hardships
Sudden hardship leaves no room for pettiness or ego when confronting the raw realities of existence. Spouses are humbled, realizing just how deeply they need each other’s support.
Built On Bedrock
Pride and jealousy wither as simply comforting one’s partner eclipses everything else. Any foundations not built on bedrock get incinerated in the crucible, but true life companions are only fused closer.
Who Are You Really
After enduring the loss of homes in natural disasters or job layoffs upending lifestyles, couples discover who their partners really are at the heart level.
Falling Deeper In Love
They appreciate cherished qualities more fully now that stable comforts are lost. People report falling deeply in love again with spouses by their side in the rubble after disasters upend their lifestyles.
What Really Matters
This contrasts fairweather romance, where couples are torn apart when realities fail to match fantasies. But with the lens of uncertainty, devoted partners see what matters most. But through the lens of uncertainty, devoted partners see what truly matters most.
Courage Rising
Love reveals its essence when we have the courage to care for partners at their worst, not just at best. When someone falls severely ill, gets depressed, loses a loved one, or faces trauma, it showcases devotion when a partner stays lovingly engaged through the agony.
Holding Space
We hold space for them to grieve, rage, withdraw, or heal at their own pace. Through comforting touch, empathetic listening, and gentle encouragement, we model unconditional acceptance they can rely on.
True Life Mates
And when we stumble or crack under pressure, true life mates extend us that same compassion. We may never have accepted such nonjudgmental support if hard times had not humbled us.
Love’s Generous Gift
Only after abandoning false masks and pretensions can we receive love’s most generous gift—the embrace of our full humanity.
Shared Salvation
Ultimately, no amount of personal grit, money, or privilege can shield us from life’s hardest trials. We cannot “go it alone” when confronted with severe illness, accidents, aging, or loss.
Survive and Recovery
We need communal bonds of family and neighborly support to survive and recover. And intimate romantic bonds give us an irreplaceable refuge.
Withstanding Storms
When bonded with a devoted partner, we withstand storms that would have destroyed us solo. We rescue each other repeatedly, take turns being strong, and collapse safely into each other’s arms when nothing is left.
Shared Salvation
We do not need to pretend, apologize, or hide from the person who has loved us through our darkest moments. Through tearful breakdowns and clumsy emotional failures, we offered that same nonjudgmental ear, shoulder, and encouragement in return. This ever-deepening shared salvation makes commitment through adversity worthwhile.
Cement Unbreakable Bonds
When two people give their everything to rescue the other—caretaking through illness, consoling untold grief, or sheltering each other in financial and emotional ruin—gratitude cements bonds no easy times could create.
A Soulful Promise
This authentic unity helps explain why those entering marriage’s commitment describe it as “far deeper” and “vastly more meaningful” than any previous relationship. For better or worse, it is far more than fanciful words but rather an earthy, soulful promise worthy of all we have to give. Its fulfillment through reality’s wild ups and downs sustains lifelong intimacy that nothing can ever sever.
Happily Ever After
So, while fairytales end after heroic rescues, real-life partners save each other day after unrelenting day. We carry each other’s burdens through a thousand ordinary moments and extraordinary crises.
Gratitude and Grateful Giving
We let ourselves be seen and held through nightmares from which we never fully wake. And we give gratefully, knowing this person promises to take our hand and walk faithfully by our side into whatever unknown sorrows and joys tomorrow brings.
My Wish For You
I hope you never have to ace struggles in your life. However, if you do, I hope you have cultivated an unconditional love that will always lift you up and cheer you on. I also hope that you will embrace being someone else’s hero.
For Better or Worse.
